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“Be the single you want to meet,” says Tammy Shaklee, relationship expert and founder of H4M Matchmakers. One way https://bestdatingsitesforover40.org/together2night-review/ to do that is to constantly explore new hobbies and interests. This tip is a tried and true one whether you are dating in your 40s or beyond. When you ask a woman out, it’s important that you stand out from other men by offering her a compelling date idea that appeals to her specific interests. Even if a woman is attracted to you upon meeting, she’s going to find the fact that you used old photos really sketchy.
While it can be a challenge, there are several opportunities to make new friends and meet people who share your values and interests. Even if it may seem like a strange concept, rethinking your current and past relationships can lead you to unexpected romantic realizations. As Reddit user spotthj pointed out in the AskWomen thread, the love of your life could have been in your life the entire time. Though it might seem like only young people use social media for IRL connection, those in the over-40 set can also have luck by remaining open-minded online. After two divorces, actress Vanessa Williams was beginning to feel a bit jaded in the romantic department—that was, until she met her current husband, Jim Skrip, on vacation in Egypt. Her love story is the perfect example of how getting out of your comfort zone has the ability to pay off in truly exciting ways. As a successful divorce coach and wellness expert, Dawn Burnett has seen first-hand how love can foment after 40.
If you’re dating in your 40s, that might represent a different path from the one you had planned for yourself—and that can breed insecurity and a sense of not measuring up as a potential mate. “Whether you are still single, married, or split up, you could be worried about what other people think of you,” Ross says. “You could be caught in that awkward time of not feeling old, but not feeling as young as those in the dating scene, and find it easier to avoid dating.” “It’s not just about the dating itself, but the host of other things you have to juggle in the background.” Simply tell them that you enjoyed their company but don’t feel enough of a spark to continue your connection any further. It should only take a few minutes and they’ll appreciate you taking the time to let them know. Dating in your 40s as a man can be a rewarding experience!
This is a great way to build evidence that you ARE meeting new people and getting somewhere on your journey to find love. Whether you play on the town courts or at a club, there are often organized Friday night “Round Robins” where people are matched up to play doubles. If you play several weeks in a row, it will make it that much easier to get to know the players and build friendships. If you like to ride, a motorcycle rally could be ideal. Meet local bikers – today many are successful professionals and businessmen who want to play on the weekends and recapture the feelings of youth.
Even something simple will keep you from fretting over finances. This will decrease your stress and anxiety, and you’ll be able to move on without worrying about these aspects of the divorce. This is where you learn to accept what has happened and build a healthy foundation for your new life. As every advice book and prying relative will tell you, marriage is all about compromise. However, divorce at 40 means you can finally put your needs first. Better yet, you’ll understand—and be able to properly communicate—those needs a whole lot better than you did during the self-discovery of your 20s and 30s.
This means your spouse may be entitled to half of it after divorce. After a divorce, household income for women drops precipitously. Census Bureau, 20% of women fall into poverty after a divorce. What’s more, because women’s life expectancy is 80.5 years in the first half of 2020 (versus 75.1 years for men), a divorced woman can find herself living for a lot longer with a lot less. Try to understand that they might do strange things and shut down at times because they are in pain also. The most important thing to do with children is to keep the lines of communication very very open. Make sure they understand that they can talk to you about anything and that you will listen and not judge.
When I thought about divorce in my 30’s, I still didn’t want to be divorced. The plan then was to remarry immediately and create an even more successful family. A newer, kinder, and richer man would share my burdens, handle the nasty divorce-related negotiations and shield me from shame and guilt. He would be a great stepdad and a father to more of my kids. That was my idea of a successful life for a woman starting over after divorce at 45.
Your wife didn’t want to dance, so you never learned the cha-cha. Without the baggage of a deteriorating marriage holding you back, you’ll have plenty of time to do the things your partner didn’t want to. And with the confidence that’s often gained naturally in your 40s, you won’t feel the least bit embarrassed about doing them alone. You dont just pick up on a moments notice to go on a road trip. And if you feel like youre doing more than your share of it all, it might just be too much. Many working women are self-sufficient financially.
Published April 23, 2023
